LETTING GO OF ANGER

Some psychologists believe anger is a reaction that occurs to help us protect ourselves from the grief that may arise if we accept a loss or disappointment. If we look within ourselves and find anything from rage to annoyance, then we can ask ourselves, "What's the object of my anger?" By holding on to anger we are holding ourselves back from living the life we were meant to live. When we learn to release anger, we release the junk in our life that is causing us harm.

When we think about any anger we may be holding, even if it is just an annoyance from our past, we should then ask ourselves, "Is the underlying cause of the anger fear?" For example, are we afraid we are not good enough, are we afraid of rejection, are we afraid of not having enough, etc..... If we can find a fear, then we will usually find the cause of our anger.

Now, if we gently go deep into the anger, will we see feelings of sorrow or loss? Is there something we have lost—or never had—that has created a wound or sorrow? If fear and sorrow were absent, there would be no anger. It takes an act of courage to help us defeat our fear, we have to experience our grief, to solve the underlying problems that keeps our anger burning. This is hard, because a lot of times our fears are serving a purpose for us, we use them as an excuse for the problems in our lives. By doing the work we need to do to release anger we allow beauty into our lives, by releasing the past we can live for the present.

Our past does not define us and once we deal with anger, we can move on to forgiveness. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Giving up the hope that things could have turned out other than they did and accepting that events occurred as they occurred.When we allow ourselves to forgive others AND ourselves, then we can live the life we were meant to live.

So now we say to ourselves, but this one event is unacceptable to me. Bad things have happened because it occurred. But, if we want to learn how to free ourselves from anger, we need to get ego out of the way and allow the hurt to reveal itself, then we can deal with it and move on to be who we truly are. Even in the most "unacceptable" events of our lives good things can happen. These events can help us find the beauty in life, help us to lose our fears or show us that nothing matters except love, peace and joy. As we begin to acknowledge the good that comes from our "unacceptable" past, we can find forgiveness arises. This is a way to "let go" of anger even if we feel that we are in a rage - that is, that we don't have anger so much as anger has us.